Who Really Deserves an Invite? The Brutally Honest Guide to Your Wedding Guest List

Introduction: Your Wedding, Your Rules

Let’s get straight to the point, it’s your wedding. Not your parents’, not your in-laws’, and certainly not an event that should be dictated by outdated etiquette or social guilt.

Weddings are expensive. Every guest you invite costs money, food, drinks, space, and sometimes even accommodation. But beyond the financial side, your guest list defines the atmosphere of your wedding day. The people in the room will shape the energy, the vibe, and the memories you walk away with.

So why on earth would you invite someone out of obligation, guilt, or family politics?

I’m here to give you permission to uninvite Uncle Bob, who you don’t even like. To say no to the distant cousin you haven’t seen since childhood. And to remind you that this is one of the few times in life when you get to choose exactly who surrounds you, without guilt.

If you wouldn’t happily grab a drink with them or invite them for a coffee, if you were passing by their house or visiting their city, why are you paying for them to eat, drink, and party at your wedding?

Let’s break down who should and shouldn’t be on your guest list … no sugarcoating.

Who Deserves an Invite?

✔ People You Love and Actually Want There
This is obvious, but it’s surprisingly easy to forget when family pressures start creeping in. If someone makes you happy and you can’t imagine the day without them, they should be there.

✔ Friends Who Have Been Part of Your Life (and Actually Show Up for You)
Not just someone you used to be close with years ago, but the friends who actively make an effort in your life. The ones who celebrate your wins, check in, and would be there for you if you needed them.

✔ Family Who Support You, Not Just Expect an Invite
Not all family members automatically get a free pass. If they’ve been toxic, manipulative, or just absent from your life, you do not owe them a seat at your wedding.

✔ People Who Bring Positive Energy
Weddings are about joy, love, and celebration. If you know someone is likely to cause drama, bring negativity, or make the day about themselves, cut them from the list.

✔ Guests Who Will Enhance the Experience for You and Your Partner
Think about who will make your day more fun, relaxed, and enjoyable. The friends who will fill the dance floor, hype you up, and be part of the magic.

Pro Tip:

Make a list and rank people. It sounds brutal but come up with your own categories (necessity of inviting, closeness, vibe, importance, craic etc) and give people a score out of 10. Add up the scores and invite the top 100 people.

Want a pre-made excel sheet for exactly that…

https://dontgiveasheet.com

Who Shouldn’t Make the Cut?

❌ People You’re Only Inviting Out of Obligation
That distant cousin you haven’t spoken to in a decade? Your mum’s best friend’s daughter? Your childhood neighbour? If you wouldn’t have dinner with them on your own terms, they don’t need to be there.

❌ The ‘Plus-One’ You’ve Never Met
You’re not obligated to give every guest a plus-one. If you’ve never met someone’s partner and don’t have the budget or space, it’s completely fine to invite your friend solo. (Don’t tell my wife but I love going to a mates' wedding solo!)

❌ Toxic Family Members
Just because they share your DNA doesn’t mean they deserve a front-row seat at your wedding. If they bring stress, negativity, or unnecessary drama, they can celebrate from afar.

❌ Work Colleagues You Wouldn’t Socialise with Outside of Work
Unless you’re genuine friends outside the office, there’s no need to feel pressured to invite colleagues. Your wedding is a personal day, not a networking event.

❌ Anyone You Don’t Want There!
It seems simple, but ask yourself outloud the question, do I want this person at my wedding. If the answer is no, then the answer is no!

Pro Tip:

Use the ‘would I be happy to go for a drink/coffee with this person?’ rule. If the answer is no, then they shouldn’t be at your wedding.

What to Say When People Expect an Invite

People will ask. They’ll assume. Some might even push back when they realise they’re not on the list. Here’s how to handle those awkward conversations:

💬 "We’re keeping the wedding small and intimate, so we’re only inviting immediate family and close friends."
💬 "We have a limited budget, so we have to really selective with our guest list."
💬 "We’re only inviting people who are actively part of our lives, and we hope you understand!"

You do not have to justify or explain further. It’s your wedding, end of discussion.

Pro Tip:

Say nothing, don’t elaborate. They’ll get over it, you don’t have to give a reason for not inviting someone.

AND if they hold it against you, you made the right decision in not inviting them in the first place.

Final Thoughts: You Get to Choose

At the end of the day, this is your wedding. Not a family reunion, not a diplomatic event, and certainly not a place for people who wouldn’t genuinely celebrate your happiness.

Surround yourself with the people you love, the ones who bring joy, and those who will make your day even better. Everyone else? They can watch the highlights later.

Feeling overwhelmed about your wedding plans? Let’s chat about how to make your day stress-free and full of the moments that matter.